Not Dated

“Thank you for allowing me to be pregnant. Thank you for those month I had to be a mom. I am so sad we lost him but I am thankful for the time we had to dream about our baby. I am thankful for your peace these last 8 weeks. Thank you for your comfort. Thank you for pulling me close to you during this time and not letting me stray. If this had to happen for me to wake up – I give you the glory. Life is bigger than me and my loss. As painful as this is to write and pray, this life has kept spinning in spite of losing our baby. And one thing remains…you. Your love. Your grace, your mercy. Your power. I want to be filled with you. Every day. Without you, I’m empty, I’m numb, I’m not worth it. But with you, I’m alive. Stay with me. Hold my hand. I love you. In Jesus name.”

10/17/2017

“Lord, please bless me and Anthony with a baby. Lord, I know you have the power to bless us with children, with healthy children. I pray you do so in your timing. I pray as a couple, we prepare ourselves to bring our children up in a home that loves you, knows you, and obeys you. God, please allow me to make this room a nursery soon, with a crib, little onesies hanging in the closet, and a healthy baby to crawl around these floors that I can rock in this very rocker…right here, in this room. God, I pray for that blessing. I pray you bless me with the opportunity to be a mom. I want to know that love and have that bond. I pray it for Anthony as well. I know he will be a wonderful father. I pray for his heart and his knowledge in you. I pray he prepares himself and strengthens his relationship with you, so his future relationship with our children is strong. I know with you at the center, our family is at its strongest. God, I pray for our future family. Continue to be with us always. Be with us today, put your hand over us. We love you. In Jesus name!”

11/17/2017

“God sometimes I feel flat out crazy. Why I get down and out so fast, so quick, and I can’t handle my own emotions all at once? It’s like they hit me all in one wave extremely hard. I’m anxious, frustrated, sad, mad, disappointed, nervous, challenged, fearful, all these emotions raveled together in one. I NEED YOU!! I need you to take over in these times. I pray I stop wherever I am and pray to you. I need to give all these things to you, because they are not of you. You don’t want me to be living this way, in these thoughts and feelings. So, Lord take them from me. Renew a right spirit in me. Clean my heart and my mind. Make them to resemble you. Lord, you are my Savior and I need saving every day. So, I want to just focus on today….save me today. Lift me out of this hole I am in, get these weights off of me and save me. Help me to walk by faith, not by sight. Forgive me when I let my emotions take over. I thank you for your grace and mercy Lord. You are my redeemer and with you I can do all things. I love you. In Jesus name amen!”

12/6/2017

“Lord, I pray you help me in this dry season. Help me to learn and grow and strive to help others while I’m in the desert. This season of life is confusing and emotional and at most times just sad. I pray you hold my hand through it. I pray I strive to do your will. I pray you help me not to be complacent and give me courage to act on opportunities presented from you. God, I pray for my family. Bless them, guide them, and protect them. Lord, help me to fear you in a healthy way. In the way I am instructed to fear you. God, I lift up my marriage. Please help us to strengthen one another and always strive to make each other better. Lord, I pray you help me to let go of all of this internal stress I have. Give me peace from you and help me to just let go. You are so amazing God and I thank you for the life you have blessed me with. You are good. I love you. In your son’s name I pray.”

10/21/2017

God your ways are higher than mine. Your ways are the most high. I understand that I am not equipped to know all the plans you have in store for my life. Although it’s hard, I understand. I know you will only give me what I can handle and I can only handle this with you. I thank you for your ways and I praise you for the road you have put me on. Although this is a tremendously hard time and there will be more of them, you are what gets me through them. Thank you for my husband and allowing us to be on this road together. Lord, bless him. Speak to him, let your spirit fill his heart. Help us to be a marriage that reflects you and your love daily during this suffering. God my heart longs for you daily and I thank you for being present in my life. Forgive me when I do wrong, help me to strive to live righteously. I love you. I pray this prayer in your loving son Jesus’ name.”